23.26

Well, that is it folks! Loved every minute – see you next year, congratulations to Denmark, blah, blah, blah…

23.25

And that is it! Denmark have won, and Rupert might as well just wait around in Copenhagen until next May!

23.24

Lithuania last to award votes.

8 – Georgia

10 – Ukraine

12 – Azerbaijan

23.23

Switzerland, notoriously neutral, award everyone no points at all. Ha, only kidding. TWO POINTS FOR BONNIE!

8 – Greece

10 – Hungary

12 – Italy

23.23

The atmosphere is completely flat now. Croatia next to reveal scores:

8 – Italy

10 – Denmark

12 – Ukraine

23.22

After the Lord Mayors Show then, Cyprus give some much needed points to Ireland, and then:

8 – Azerbaijan

10 – Ukraine

12 – Greece

23.21

Strangely, they have announced the winners in Malmö before the final few countries have voted. Maybe an attempt to speed things up a bit. After more than three hours.

23.20

Denmark win Eurovision 2013!

23.20

Everyones favourites, the Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia voted thusly:

8 – Norway

10 – Italy

12 – Denmark

23.19

For those who care about such things – we’re beating Germany AND France.

23.18

Georgia next to vote. Just formalities now really. Off to Denmark next year.

8 – Ukraine

10 – Armenia

12 – Azerbaijan

23.17

Slovenia has funky glasses. Everyone is congratulating Sweden for a great show. One point for the UK here.

8 – Italy

10 – Russia

12 – Denmark

23.16

Montenegro next, only 8 left to award points:

8 – Greece

10 – Denmark

12 – Azerbaijan

23.15

Denmark next up:

8 – Sweden

10 – The Netherlands

12 – Norway

Nothing for Azerbaijan. Borderline cheating really.

23.14

Aww, Ireland, go on, give us some points. AND THEY HAVE! 7 WHOLE POINTS!

8 – Ukraine

10 – Russia

12 – Denmark

23.13

Pretty sure Denmark have got this one sorted.

The Greek votes:

8 – Ukraine

10 – Romania

12 – Azerbaijan

23.12

Ah, France – no points here, I bet…

8 – Azerbaijan

10 – Italy

12 – Denmark

23.11

ICeland next to break our hearts. But frankly, we dont care, right?

8 – The Netherlands

10 – Norway

12 – Denmark

23.10

Germany has voted:

8 – Iceland

10 – Denmark

12 – Hungary

23.09

Azerbaijan trying to prove me wrong in calling a Denmark win 10 minutes ago.

Estonis votes:

8 – Denmark

10 – Ukraine (they’re not out of it)

12 – Russia

23.08

Ah, Malta – I love Malta…

YES, LOVE YOU MALTA – 5 POINTS FOR THE UK!

8 – Italy

10 – Ukraine

12 – Azerbaijan

Ireland propping up the table.

23.06

Russia next – Moscow Calling…

8 – Belgium

10 – Greece

12 – Azerbaijan

23.06

Barbara from Belgium in Brussels resolutely speaks in French…

8 – Ukraine

10 – Denmark

12 – The Netherlands

23.05

Bulgaria have finally tuned in…

8 – Armenia

10 – Ukraine

12 – Azerbaijan

23.03

After a brief interlude of banality, back to the voting…

23.00

Rupert stayed across the Øresund Bridge in Copenhagen. Looks like he’ll be back there again next year. Well, maybe he could stay in Malmö…

Latvia points:

8 – Norway

10 – Estonia

12 – Um, I missed that…

22.59

Belarus next to give the points in a cringey way.

8 – Russia

10 – Azerbaijan

12 – Ukraine

22.58

WOOHOO! Spain give UK 4 points.

8 – Denmark

10 – Ukraine

12 – Italy

22.57

Finland votes:

8 – Netherlands

10 – Hungary

12 – Norway

22.56

Going out on a limb. Denmark have won Eurovision 2013.

22.56

Italy will bring sense to proceedings.

8 – Norway

10 – Malta

12 – Denmark

 

22.55

More interesting fashion in Armenia.

Only 4 for Denmark. Azerbaijan need something big.

8 – Greece

10 – Georgia

12 – Ukraine

Azerbaijan get nothing.

22.53

Norway award 7 to Denmark. So:

8 – Netherlands

10 – Malta

12 – Sweden

Well, that might have killed off Azerbaijan.

22.52

Azerbaijan need to avoid giving Denmark any points now.

Well, 5 for Denmark, not too bad.

8 – Malta

10 – Georgia

12 – Ukraine

22.51

Moldova award 8 points to Azerbaijan, closing the gap on Denmark.

10 – Romania

12 – Ukraine

5 points in it at the top.

22.50

Its a two horse race – Azerbaijan vs Denmark!

22.50

Romania give the UK THREE POINTS!

8 – Norway

10 – Azerbaijan

12 – Moldova

22.49

Bonnie is struggling

22.49

Hungary next:

8 – Malta

10 – Denmark

12 – Azerbaijan

22.48

Ukraine haven’t graced us with any minor points.

8 – Moldova

10 – Azerbaijan

12 – Belarus (!)

22.47

Serbia next to dash our dreams.

8 – Russia

10 – Ukraine

12 – Denmark

Well, big lead opening up for Denmark.

22.46

Israel are the seventh to award points.

8 – Denmark

10 – Ukraine

12 – Azerbaijan

22.45

We vote next, so no points forthcoming. Scott Mills has got in on the act.

8 – Greece

10 – Russia

12 – Denmark

I’m going to say it’s between four countries.

22.44

Austria have only gone and given the UK… no points. Unless…

8 – Netherlands

10 – Italy

12 – Azerbaijan

22.43

The Netherlands next to give their scores. Too early to call anything yet, I fear no points for UK here…

8 – Malta

10 – Denmark

12 – Belgium

22.42

Albania (continuing an interesting run of presenters’ fashion) – no points for the UK yet…

8 – Hungary

10 – Greece

12 – Italy

22.41

Sweden give the UK ONE POINT!

8 – Netherlands

10 – Denmark

12 – Norway

22.40

San Marino give none of the small scores to us.

8 – France

10 – Malta (go Malta!)

12 – GREECE

22.39

Right, my fingers are poised. My favourite part – the votes!

22.38

You know when someone sings a well known song, but messes with the phrasing and tries to make it their own (horrible X Factor phrase). Well, this is that joy.

22.36

And now, to rub our noses in the fact that ABBA will not be performing tonight, some random woman sings their best song. The Winner Takes It All. How apt.

22.35

Very pretty Swedish boy on TV now – not very bright, perhaps. Maybe just nervous. Nice face though.

22.31

Rupert reports from the Malmö Arena – Most Mental Interval Act Ever! Love the dancing meatballs and milky striptease!

22.30

Is it too late for that to be the Swedish entry?

22.29

You could not make this stuff up. I think this sums it up – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

22.25

Eyes. On. The. Telly.

22.25

You think I would make that up?

22.24

Meatballs and a milk striptease coming right up!

22.10

Right, Im going to take a well-earned break… But I’ll be back for the results (actually my favourite bit!). See you shortly!

22.09

That said, it would not be terrible if you voted for Malta.

22.09

I have only one thing I want to say at this stage – VOTE FOR ROMANIA!

22.08

Want to Vote?

Right, just dial 09015 22 52 __ from a landline, or 6 22 52 __ from a mobile, filling the gap with the number of your choice:

01 – France
02 – Lithuania
03 – Moldova
04 – Finland
05 – Spain
06 – Belgium
07 – Estonia
08 – Belarus
09 – Malta
10 – Russia
11 – Germany
12 – Armenia
13 – The Netherlands
14 – Romania
United Kingdom
16 – Sweden
17 – Hungary
18 – Denmark
19 – Iceland
20 – Azerbaijan
21 – Greece
22 – Ukraine
23 – Italy
24 – Norway
25 – Georgia
26 – Ireland

22.04

The Lines Are Now Open!

Now, frankly, this is the bit that bores me to tears. I like the singing, and the scores. This bit is just interminable.

22.02

THATS IT! Everyone has sung – all 26! It just flew by!

22.01

There is definitely a bit of Flying The Flag (For You) in there somewhere.

22.00

Ewww. It all just went a bit Scooch for me.

21.59

Nothing wrong with his face.

21.59

Malta and Greece getting some love too. Right, one more to go – and its IRELAND. This might actually do quite well.

21.56

As well as my shameless promotion of Romania, there seems to be a lot of twitter love for Denmark and Ukraine so far

21.54

Well Jack, only two more songs to go. Georgia next, Graham seems to think this could do well…

21.53

The cat just defiantly sat on me. When will this end, he seemed to ask.

21.53

This is Norway by the way. Dressed, you guessed it, in white. Kinda Fifth Element style.

21.52

The word from Rupert in Malmö is that this is a big crowd pleaser. He likens it to Ellie Goulding. Eurovision-Goulding I guess.

21.50

Which songs have stuck in your heads? For me – ROMANIA!

21.50

Hang on, he almost skipped. But then he remembered, I AM ITALIAN, I MUST BE SMOOTH AND STYLISH!

21.49

The problem for Italy is that they have WAY too much style for Eurovision. This is far too classy. Get him off the stage.

21.46

Now, I know some friends will have fluttering hearts for this guy – Italy have made quite an effort this year.

21.45

Sadly, the Ukraine song does not live up to the opening 15 seconds. Style over substance. Not quite sure style is the right word here, but…

21.44

Rupert on Ukraine song - Fucking love that giant!

21.43

No, you have to see this to believe it. Amazing. I refuse to describe it. Find a tv, watch the video on youtube.  The start of the Ukraine song is EUROVISION all over.

21.41

Rupert finds this song galling. His words - Alcohol is certainly not free in Sweden. Dry as a granny’s ****!

21.40

Hints of Madness, I think (in all senses).

21.39

Greece have entered a funny novelty song. These either sink without trace or do surprisingly well.

21.38

All well-meaning stuff, surely, but this Azerbaijan song is the first to make me feel tired. Its over now, hurrah!

21.37

Well, the video link messed up. Never mind, Azerbaijan now. This sounds like a really bad modern Bond song.

21.34

A video courtesy of Rupert – not sure if this will work, but if it does, only watch if you REALLY want to hear more of that Teardrops song:

<iframe src=”https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10151383736402511″ width=”568″ height=”320″ frameborder=”0″>

21.33

The Iceland song is so dull, I want to cry. Long-haired man in suit. Not much more to say really.

21.32

Want another photo? Here, an atmospheric shot from Rupert in Malmö:

21.30

Look, ITS BONNIE! (Ru-eye-view)

21.29

Rupert reports in – still surprisingly coherent – to label the Hungarian entry as Shoreditch Twat, Charming.

21.28

You see, its not fair really. Denmark have entered a proper pop song. To rub salt in the wound they have someone playing a penny-whistle type thing, but they cant fool us – we know they took this seriously and want to win.

21.26

Well, the BIG BIG FAVOURITE is up next – Denmark, singing something about raindrops.

21.26

The Hungarian singer was clearly duped, and led to believe that Eurovision is an über-cool indie competition. Thank god.

21.25

There might be more emotion in a photocopier, but I like the Hungarian song.

21.23

Ah, yes, Hungary – too school for school these guys, but actually amongst all the other songs, this one does stand out.

21.22

Can I take this opportunity to encourage you all to vote for Romania? We THINK the beer would be cheaper there…

21.21

Odd dance move from Sweden, where they all check to see which pocket their mobile phone is in. Some proper boy-band fist-clenching going on too. If only they had stools to stand up from.

21.20

Not a bad song actually from Sweden – there is something about it. Not sure what though. More white being worn.

21.19

The hosts Sweden now, trying their hardest to look like they are trying to win it, but they would probably be very happy to come in the top ten.

21.18

Oh Bonnie, you did good! Gotta love a bit of podium action!

21.14

Right, come on everybody, here comes Bonnie! I will rest my fingers out of respect – go on Bonnie, do yourself proud!

21.14

The Romania song is real BIG FAT ZERO or DOUZE POINTS conundrum. I think it might do very well.

21.12

This is the stuff Eurovision dreams (or nightmares) are made of. It reminds me of Frankenstein at the National Theatre.

21.11

You may laugh, but sometimes, strange things happen. We might be in Bucharest next year. You heard it here first.

21.10

ROMANIA! Jack, the To Do List cat, LOVES THIS ONE! It speaks to… well, to a frequency cats can hear. I warned you…

21.09

Is she still going? Yes, she is. Not really a Eurovision song. The Netherlands might have to wait for another decade for their next final.

21.07

I mean no offense to The Netherlands, but I have to go get a drink. I can hear it from the kitchen, never fear…

21.06

So, The Netherlands qualified! Surprisingly rare this – they have not been in the final for almost 10 years. No pressure now then.

21.04

Ah, cockney. Of course.

21.04

So, a bit of a break now – some crazy woman is giving a lecture on Sweden.  Odd accent.

20.59

Armenia next, with one of those songs that sounds very earnest, and probably has a message. If only anyone could be arsed to listen to the words…

20.57

Combined with Rupert saying that the German singer looked a bit, erm, on the chubby side, Im not sure it’s a good night for Van Outen…

20.56

My friend Nat just said three words: DENISE VAN OUTEN.

20.55

Germany have (and these are Grahams words not mine) stolen the winning song from last year. The GLORIOUS bit does sound a bit plagiarism-y.

20.53

Oh but wait! In an earth shattering gimmick, the backing singers threw some balls into the audience. They sank without trace.

20.52

The Russian singer could not have worn a more boring dress if… there is no if. Impossible to be more boring.

20.51

The Russian song is very dull. Too serious. These songs used to do well at Eurovision, but not this year (me thinks).

20.51

Russia are number 10 (Bonnie is 15, so if you need to take a break, go now!).

20.48

I actually really like this Malta song. And he smiles A LOT! Aww, so happy just to be there (could I be any more condescending?)

20.47

Malta have won my vote a few times in the past, and have come close a couple of times (to my memory).

20.44

The Belarusian song reminds me of a previous Eurovision winner, mixed with Kiss Kiss (that terrible song by Holly Valance).

20.43

Belarus next up. Belarus is, I am ashamed to admit, a country I could not point to on a map with any more than 50 per cent confidence of being right. Fortunately, my geography is not being tested tonight. Just my patience and endurance levels.

20.41

Jack, the To Do List cat, just looked at the TV with complete disdain.

20.40

Estonia now, which begins in black and white and then moves to colour. Just like the Wizard of Oz. But not at all like it. Lots of white being worn this year by the way. If I knew anything at all about fashion, I would tell you why.

20.38

Well, there was something strangely likeable about the Belgian song. Kinda catchy. Rupert reports that Love Kills (the Belgian song) is a big fan favourite in the arena…

20.35

Belgium has EYEBROWS! Impossible not to be hypnotised by them. Very thick, bobbing up and down. Awww, cute…

20.33

It’s hard to get excited about the Spanish entry. She is wearing a very yellow dress, and looks a bit like Carole Vorderman if you squint. Lots of that slow-motion running about that people do on stage to convey dynamism.

20.30

Remember when tATu had everyone scared when they threatened lesbian action on stage?

20.28

Ok, Finland are my favourites so far – it’s a bit P!nk, a bit Katy Perry, a bit Steps, a bit Aqua, and a bit (A LOT) camp. Love it!

20.26

Hard to say how much booze is being consumed, but latest from Rupert is that “Lithuania sound fucked up”. Next up, Finland: watch out for some lesbianic action at the end WOOHOO!

20.24

The bottom of the dress is huge, and I’m not sure if she can actually move. She hasn’t yet. Maybe she was lowered into place during the intro.

20.23

Moldova is up third, and the song is performed by an exceptionally pretty girl with La Roux’s hair and a dress that looks like the top half is made out of really shiny copier paper.

20.21

The Lithuanian song may stick in the memory because he keeps talking about his shoes. The shoe song. There, you’ll remember that.

20.21

A fun game to play is to listen to all of the songs, and then see if you can remember any of the first half a dozen. I already can’t remember the French song.

20.18

Lithuania next. Could that be cheap? The song is “Something”. Instantly forgettable is the first impression.

20.16

So, France kick things off properly, and she appears to be wearing a shredded vinyl collection. It’s one of those songs that you think might go somewhere, but doesn’t. She’s in the Engelbert graveyard slot, and won’t win.

20.14

Rupert has also told me what to expect during the interval. All I’m saying is: meatballs and milk.

20.13

Update from Rupert: “Vote somewhere cheap”.

So, yes, the message here is that Sweden is a tad expensive. We think Romania might be cheap, anyone know for sure?

20.12

The jokes are coming thick and fast from Petra, who has only just got around to welcoming us to Malmö. The voting system is being explained now. Remember you can’t vote for the UK – DON’T EVEN TRY! And we can’t vote by text either, no idea why…

20.10

No ABBA tonight apparently. Sad face.

20.10

Ah, pretty(ish) in pink host Petra Mede has arrived ON HER OWN! Yes, that’s right, no co-presenter – and I bet she’ll make a big deal out of it, as she did for the semi finals.

20.07

Sedated it may be (and I think Graham may have fallen asleep for a minute there), but it is kinda pretty. But enough of this, we’ll be here all night at this rate!

20.07

Quite a sedated start to proceedings, so I’m glad I didn’t polish off a bottle of wine watching Doctor Who, or I might be asleep by now.

20.04

And here’s the choir. See, all that money spent on sending Rupert to send us reports from the Arena paid off. At least, until he has his 14th alcopop and forgets how to use his phone.

20.03

While we wait for our choir ‘prediction’ to come true (or not), pretty pictures of a long bridge. And Graham is sounding well tonight, not too boozed. Yet.

20.01

Well, here we go, Eurovision is live, and I know what you’re thinking: I wish things would kick off with a huge choir. Well…

19.59

By the way, if you’re not in front of a TV, you can catch the show live online at http://www.eurovision.tv/page/webtv?program=83843

19.58

To Do List Editor Rupert is in the Malmö Arena. He tells us “4 minutes to go and it’s like a gay club in here”. Well, duh!

19.56

Anyone who has ever criticised the standard of the music at Eurovision should be forced to watch this vomit inducing Status Quo performance on BBC1 right now. Bonnie, you may have less than no chance of winning, but you’re way better than this!

19.52

Well, I’ll be damned if I’m live blogging the lottery numbers. So here are some far more important figures – the starting order for tonight:

The Running Order for the Grand Final

The running order is as follows:

1. France
2. Lithuania
3. Moldova
4. Finland
5. Spain
6. Belgium
7. Estonia
8. Belarus
9. Malta
10. Russia
11. Germany
12. Armenia
13. The Netherlands
14. Romania
15. United Kingdom
16. Sweden
17. Hungary
18. Denmark
19. Iceland
20. Azerbaijan
21. Greece
22. Ukraine
23. Italy
24. Norway
25. Georgia
26. Ireland

19.51

Wait a minute: there’s a Status Quo film? Yes, apparently, it’s true! So, it’s an old cliche, but I think we can firmly agree that the only way is up this evening. Compared to Bula Quo (!!!!!), Eurovision 2013 cannot fail to be one of the most important cultural events of the century.

19.47

Just the Lottery show to get through – how do they make this last 15 minutes? Ever relevant, the guests are Status Quo.

19.44

WELL THAT MADE NO SENSE! But hey, it is Doctor Who, what else would you expect. Right then, 15 minutes to go… Excited much?

19.00

It being Sweden, we can be pretty sure there will be some reference to ABBA tonight. But exactly how much of a reference? We’ve heard from our Malmö correspondent, and apparently there was a strange Winner Takes It All performance by some random at the Jury Final last night – a placeholder for something very special tonight? Anyway, Doctor Who time, see you in 45!

18.31

Still waiting for some news from our Malmö correspondent… hopefully he’s seamlessly infiltrating the thronging Euro-masses. Or getting drunk.

18.17

There are not many more than 100 minutes to go until Eurovision 2013 kicks off, by which time we will also almost certainly NOT know the Name of the Doctor.

18.06

I JUST LEARNED SOMETHING! See, I always thought Dionne Warwick pronounced her surname badly because she was American. Now, Pointless tells me her surname is Warrick, and  she took Warwick after it was mistakenly printed with the W on her first single release. So maybe she has a good excuse. I’m still not entirely convinced…

17.53

I’m just going to throw this one out there: is the benefit brought about by the inclusion of cardamom pods in microwaveable rice sufficient to justify the horrible experience of biting into one? Just asking.

Anyway, I’m fed! Now, just ned to start the booze consumption – gently does it, but you need a tipple on Eurovision night and, hey, it’s almost 6pm! Stop judging me!

17.02

I’ve got that Christmas Eve feeling – I just can’t wait for the fun to begin! Alas, it’s not even Doctor Who time – and there’s only so much Come Dine With Me you can take… Might need a quick walk around the block to dissipate some of this Eurovision excitement!

16.47

If you want to join our Eurovision Live Blog FUN later, email stu@todolist.org.uk or tweet us @ToDolistLive or @StuDoList. Easy.

16.35

No updates yet from Rupert (To Do List Editor) who is in Malmö – but here’s a picture he took at the Jury Final last night (I know, who knew?!) to whet your appetite. And now, I’m off for some food. Catch you later!

16.30

AND IT DOES! Right, I’ll be here sporadically until 7:45pm (I need to eat, get slightly drunk, and watch Doctor Who), but then it’ll be full-on live-blogging until we have a winner!

16.28

Welcome to the our Eurovision Live Blog! I know, I know, it’s not even 4:30pm yet… but, I’m going to be honest, I just want to make sure this thing works!

Artists Howard Sivills, Ulysses Black, Annie Brooks, Anna Vauhkonen, Tasos Stamou, Sarah Delmonte, Sol Bailey-Barker, Kitty Dalton, Michel Good and Balint Revesz contribute to a collection of illustration, performance and video centered around the mind and mental health issues. In association with Ferodo Bridges and 3space Hub. Curated by: Howard Sivils, Anna Vauhkonen and Alexander Raptotasios

More Info

You don’t need us to tell you about the big event! Host a Eurovision party, get invited to one, or sit at home with the cats and a good curry and watch it all unfold on TV. We’ll be live-blogging, with updates from our Editor who will be watching things unfold live in Malmo. Check back for a link to our Eurovision coverage!